Friday, February 5, 2010

What are you, RETARDED? If so, you may be in luck!

No offense to the mentally retarded, in fact if you're reading this blog and find that you are mentally deficient or retarded, there may be a very lucrative job opening for you.  There's been several instances during the writing of this blog, either through listening to audio recordings of court hearings, reading deposition transcripts or just talking to people involved with the case where we've asked ourselves, are the people working these cases FCUKING RETARDED?  After seeing a mortgage fraud detective that doesn't know the fundamentals of real estate transactions or a prosecutor that fumbles through hearings misstating facts and lying to the court, one has to pause and ask themselves, what the hell is wrong with these people and how the hell did they arrive at a position of power?

What does this have to do with our story?  Well, things are starting to get a little tight financially here at the Straw Buyer, so we decided to start looking around to see if there are any job opportunities that are suited to our newly found skills that we've acquired while investigating all these nasty fraud cases and instances of police/prosecutorial misconduct.  After searching all the regular employment sites, I decided to give Uncle Sam a try, so I went over to USAJOBS to see if they had anything for us.  Once there I decided to indulge myself and see if they were hiring any attorneys and what it would take to qualify for a position with the Department of Justice, perhaps an incentive to forge ahead and go to law school!  I finally come across this opening for 10 trial lawyers for the Civil Rights division of the Department of Justice.  COOL!  Check it!


Hell yes!  Now I'm excited!  So next, I scan down and start looking at the requirements for the job and then I come across this:

Ok, I understand, the DOJ wants to accommodate people with disabilities.  As I read through this paragraph, I find that they're looking to hire mentally retarded attorneys?!  EXCUSE ME?!  In case you missed it, here it is again:

I'm not going touch that with a ten foot pole folks.  After watching the players on the states side of the Bernardo Barrera mortgage fraud case over the last 7 months and constantly asking myself whether or not they're mentally deficient, perhaps if the State Attorneys Office and the MDPD have the same hiring guidelines as the Department of Justice then we no longer have to ask ourselves that question.  No offense to those with the DOJ's "targeted disabilities", I happened to think you have a better future in private practice...

Have a great weekend!


  1. I know my ex son in law worked there, he took the bar with no time limit because he claimed to be ADD.

  2. Retarded lawyers? Is there any other kind?

  3. Is this for real?